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Category: English
Tipping
When you tip a cab driver or waitress, what are you doing? According to some sources, the word “tip” is an acronym that means “To Insure Promptness.”
Finding Out Why People Say “Ain’t”
American taxpayers’ money, in the amount of $121,000, was spent on a scientific study to find out why people say “ain’t.”
European Men
European men used to be vain about their legs – to the point where they knew which leg was the best looking. These men would place their “best foot forward.”
The Flu
Where did the flu, influenza, get its name? At one time people thought the sickness was caused by the ‘influence’ of the stars and planets.
Mr. 1069
There is a man whose official name has been legally changed to Mr. 1069.
Sandwich
In the eighteenth century, John Montague, the Earl of Sandwich invented a small meal that could be eaten with one hand while he continued his nonstop gambling.
Salary
The word ‘salary’ came from the word ‘salt’ in Roman times. Salt was used as a trading medium as money is used today.
The Ends of a Fork
Here’s a puzzle for you: What do you call the long thin things on the end of a fork? Can’t remember? Highlight the green section below to find out.
The things on the end of a fork are called tangs. If you thought they are tines, you are right, also.
Better Communication Regarding Repair
I found the following in a book published in 1858:
“An English gentleman, traveling some years ago in Ireland, took a hammer and tacks with him, Continue reading Better Communication Regarding Repair
The Difference Between Screws and Bolts
Many people think the difference between screws and bolts is that screws are driven with a screwdriver, and bolts have hexagonal heads. Not so. The actual difference is that bolts engage a threaded counterpart, generally a nut, while screws make their own threads.
Female Dress
The following was found in a book written in 1858:
“Female dress: It is well known that a loose and easy dress contributes Continue reading Female Dress
Programming Instructions
I found these instructions in a manual about a computer programming language. Perhaps because of wording like this there are not more programmers than there are:
Look at the first compare of the second group of compare statements. The expression “r != s” will evaluate as a “true” since “r” was set to 0.0 above, so the result will be a non-zero value, probably 1. Even though the two variables that are compared are “float” variables, the result will be of type “integer.” There is no explicit variable to which it will be assigned so the result of the compare is an implied integer. Finally the resulting number, 1 in this case, is assigned to the integer variable “x”. If double equal signs were used, the phantom value, namely 1, would be compared to the value of “x”, but since the single equal sign is used, the value 1 is simply assigned to “x”, as though the statement were not in parentheses.
Finally, since the result of the assignment in the parentheses was non-zero, the entire expression is evaluated as “true”, and “z” is assigned the value of 1000. Thus we accomplished two things in this statement, we assigned “x” a new value, probably 1, and we assigned “z” the value of 1000. We covered a lot in this statement so you may wish to review it before going on. The important things to remember are the values that define “true” and “false”, and the fact that several things can be assigned in a conditional statement. The value assigned to “x” was probably a 1 but different compilers may assign a different value as long as it is non-zero.
Continuing on to the fourth example of the third group we find three assignment statements in the compare part of the “if” statement. If you understood the above discussion, you should have no difficulty understanding that the three variables are assigned their respective new values, and the result of all three are non-zero, leading to a resulting value of “TRUE.”
Some of your author’s code for a picture puzzle program written about ten years ago.
Ben Franklin Quotes
Here are some Ben Franklin quotes. Most of these were first published in Poor Richard’s Almanac, which Franklin produced.
A little neglect may breed great mischief… for want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of a horse the rider was lost.
Continue reading Ben Franklin Quotes
Flock of Ducks
In the way that you call groups of geese a ‘gaggle’ and a group of lions is a ‘pride’ you can call a group of ducks a ‘flock,’ ‘raft,’ ‘team,’ ‘padding,’ ‘badding’, or ‘brace.’
A flock of ducks that lived on the roof of a hotel in Memphis, Tennessee, used to take the elevator to the ground floor when they wished to go anywhere.
Words for Drunk
According to the “Guiness Book of World Records,” there are as many as 2,241 synonyms for the state of being “drunk.” How many can you list? Seriously, how many can you list? Go ahead and leave your synonyms for ‘drunk’ in the comment area below. When we have enough of them, I’ll publish the list.
Tipsy
Smashed
Wasted
Plastered
Sloshed
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Hammered
Buzzed
Sauced
Pickled
Inebriated
Humorous
Swimming in gin
Feeling no pain
Seeing double
Having a chat with the floor
Danced with Dionysus
Holding onto walls for dear life
On a liquid diet
In the bag
Turned into a karaoke monster
Brain marinated in whiskey
Regional Slang
Trollied (UK)
Langered (Ireland)
Maggoted (Australia)
Bladdered (UK)
Pished (Scotland)
Off your face (UK)
Rotten (New Zealand)
Arseholed (UK)
Munted (NZ/Aus)
Paralytic (UK)
Obscure or Old-Timey
Three sheets to the wind
Well-oiled
In one’s cups
Pie-eyed
Half-seas over
Stewed
Blotto
Tight
Juiced
Tanked
Medical or Formal
Intoxicated
Under the influence
Experiencing ethanol impairment
Exhibiting symptoms of alcohol toxicosis
Impaired judgment
BAC elevated
CNS depressant activated
Alcohol-positive
Neurologically uninhibited
Liver-challenged
Animal Inspired
Drunk as a skunk
Buzzed like a bee
Soared like a bat
Waddling like a duck
Sloshed like a fish
Stumbling like a newborn foal
Rabid raccoon energy
Eyes like a barn owl
Mooing like a drunk cow
Oinking through karaoke
Vehicle or Mechanical Metaphors
Off the rails
Spinning the wheels
Out of gas, full of wine
Clutch slipping
Running on booze fumes
Leaking oil
Headlights off
In a tailspin
Crash landed
Shifting without a clutch
Food and Drink
Marinated
Pickled
Fermented
Soaked
Battered
Breaded and deep-fried
Drenched in spirits
Whiskey-braised
Wine-glazed
Beer-battered soul
Descriptive Phrases
Not walking a straight line
Lacking vertical loyalty
Speaking in slurs
Laughing at nothing
Red-faced and rambly
Brain swimming
Senses foggy
Volume at 150%
Emotional and confused
Loosened tongue
Mythical & Magical
Hexed by hops
Elven-wine drunk
Wizard-whiskey whammied
Goblin-mode activated
Cursed by ale
Under the mead spell
Dragon-breathed
On a unicorn bender
Satyr-influenced
Bacchus-blessed
Literary & Poetic
Drenched in dusk-colored wine
Floating on amber tides
Mind adrift in barley clouds
A symphony of slurred syllables
Thoughts swimming through molasses
Smiling through fogged glass
Drunk on stars and bourbon
Lips dripping poetry and vodka
Slurring through Shakespeare
Marooned on merlot shores
Modern & Internet-Inspired
Glitched out
Lagging IRL
Buffering badly
Full emoji mode
TikTok stumble star
Drunkposting
Podcasting from the floor
Autocorrect in real life
Streaming sideways
IRL screenshot fail
Visual Metaphors
Blurred like an old TV
Candle in a wind tunnel
Cross-eyed at the moon
Eyes in disco mode
Face in Picasso formation
Seeing with beer goggles
World on spin cycle
Legs on spaghetti setting
Lights on, everyone partying
Jello-legged
Music & Sound
Volume maxed
Singing off-key with confidence
DJ Vodka took over
Echo chamber in the brain
Doing the two-step on one leg
Waltzing with wobble
Speaking jazz
Soundtrack: chaos
Dissonant monologue
Karaoke heroics
Pop Culture References
Tony Stark at a press conference
Homer Simpson after Moe’s
Bridget Jones on a breakup night
Jack Sparrow swagger
Stumbling like a sitcom dad
Ron Swanson, but on wine
Tyrion Lannister level
The Hangover: live edition
Thor after mead
Wario cart driving
Situational
Clinging to a lamp post
Talking to a fire hydrant
Arguing with a pizza
Hugging strangers
Crying at commercials
Dancing with shadows
Toasting to no one
Walking like a crab
Singing to an ATM
Laughing alone in the mirror
Objects & Elements
Liquid lightning inside
Whiskey-tornado brain
Fog-machine internal
Corked up emotions
Glass full of bad ideas
Carbonated decisions
Wine-slick soul
Firewater madness
Bubbly brainstorm
Iceberg-level tipsy
Surreal & Absurd
Cheesed and confused
Moonwalking through molasses
Astronaut without gravity
Talking in cursive
Wearing invisible roller skates
Brain on vacation
Internal earthquake
Rodeo of regrets
Wobble-dimensional
On a first-name basis with gravity
Clever Wordplay
Chardonnay-shay
Gin-giggled
Cognac-comatose
Tequila-vision
Vodka-vaporized
Rum-rattled
Brew-boozled
Ale-ments of confusion
Martini-mushed
Scotch-guarded memory
Just Plain Weird
Emotionally sticky
Conducting invisible orchestra
Body on shuffle
Stomach singing show tunes
Conversing in whale
Napping while standing
Flirting with chairs
Horizontal ambition
Sense of time: melted
More spirit than man
“Drunk Father,” by George Bellows
Public domain via Wikimedia Commons
Creative Listening
A creative listener asks carefully designed questions to help people think about things in new ways. The results can be fantastic, resulting in inventive solutions to problems, overcoming frustration, worry and mild depression, making solid decisions, or for discovering new ways to relate with friends, family, and co-workers. For people in business, a single session can put you in a position to make $thousands more. Creative listening has even been known to save some struggling businesses.
Creative Listening Can Positively Change Your Life in Three Ways
1. Benefit from a session with a creative listener. Whether you have relationship or business issues, or just want to improve your situation, you can expect remarkable change!
2. Take 15 minutes to learn the basics and start helping your friends, family, neighbors or coworkers right away. This is entirely free.
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3. Learn to become a professional creative listener. This requires almost no training, no money, and can be started right away. Helping people in this way is interesting and gratifying. Can you imagine anything better?
Chemical Names
Some scientists have a sense of humor. You can see it when they name new molecules and compounds: Some of the chemical names they have come up with include:
Buckminster Fullerene
Megaphone
Vomitoxin
Rednose
Deadcat
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Bastardane
Sonic Hedgehog
Cummingtonite
Moronic Acid
DAMN (Diaminomaleonitrile)
Curious Chloride
PU
Constipatic acid
Dead
Fucitol
Broken Windowpane
Piranha Solution
Nonanal
Periodic Acid
Diabolic Acid
Antipain
Dogcollarane
Crapinon
Arsole.
You can find more, and read the stories behind some of these names at www.chm.bris.ac.uk/sillymolecules/sillymols.htm.
