According to the “Guiness Book of World Records,” there are as many as 2,241 synonyms for the state of being “drunk.” How many can you list? Seriously, how many can you list? Go ahead and leave your synonyms for ‘drunk’ in the comment area below. When we have enough of them, I’ll publish the list.

Tipsy

Smashed

Wasted

Plastered

Sloshed

Hammered

Buzzed

Sauced

Pickled

Inebriated

Humorous

Swimming in gin

Feeling no pain

Seeing double

Having a chat with the floor

Danced with Dionysus

Holding onto walls for dear life

On a liquid diet

In the bag

Turned into a karaoke monster

Brain marinated in whiskey

Regional Slang

Trollied (UK)

Langered (Ireland)

Maggoted (Australia)

Bladdered (UK)

Pished (Scotland)

Off your face (UK)

Rotten (New Zealand)

Arseholed (UK)

Munted (NZ/Aus)

Paralytic (UK)

Obscure or Old-Timey

Three sheets to the wind

Well-oiled

In one’s cups

Pie-eyed

Half-seas over

Stewed

Blotto

Tight

Juiced

Tanked

Medical or Formal

Intoxicated

Under the influence

Experiencing ethanol impairment

Exhibiting symptoms of alcohol toxicosis

Impaired judgment

BAC elevated

CNS depressant activated

Alcohol-positive

Neurologically uninhibited

Liver-challenged

Animal Inspired

Drunk as a skunk

Buzzed like a bee

Soared like a bat

Waddling like a duck

Sloshed like a fish

Stumbling like a newborn foal

Rabid raccoon energy

Eyes like a barn owl

Mooing like a drunk cow

Oinking through karaoke

Vehicle or Mechanical Metaphors

Off the rails

Spinning the wheels

Out of gas, full of wine

Clutch slipping

Running on booze fumes

Leaking oil

Headlights off

In a tailspin

Crash landed

Shifting without a clutch

Food and Drink

Marinated

Pickled

Fermented

Soaked

Battered

Breaded and deep-fried

Drenched in spirits

Whiskey-braised

Wine-glazed

Beer-battered soul

Descriptive Phrases

Not walking a straight line

Lacking vertical loyalty

Speaking in slurs

Laughing at nothing

Red-faced and rambly

Brain swimming

Senses foggy

Volume at 150%

Emotional and confused

Loosened tongue

Mythical & Magical

Hexed by hops

Elven-wine drunk

Wizard-whiskey whammied

Goblin-mode activated

Cursed by ale

Under the mead spell

Dragon-breathed

On a unicorn bender

Satyr-influenced

Bacchus-blessed

Literary & Poetic

Drenched in dusk-colored wine

Floating on amber tides

Mind adrift in barley clouds

A symphony of slurred syllables

Thoughts swimming through molasses

Smiling through fogged glass

Drunk on stars and bourbon

Lips dripping poetry and vodka

Slurring through Shakespeare

Marooned on merlot shores

Modern & Internet-Inspired

Glitched out

Lagging IRL

Buffering badly

Full emoji mode

TikTok stumble star

Drunkposting

Podcasting from the floor

Autocorrect in real life

Streaming sideways

IRL screenshot fail

Visual Metaphors

Blurred like an old TV

Candle in a wind tunnel

Cross-eyed at the moon

Eyes in disco mode

Face in Picasso formation

Seeing with beer goggles

World on spin cycle

Legs on spaghetti setting

Lights on, everyone partying

Jello-legged

Music & Sound

Volume maxed

Singing off-key with confidence

DJ Vodka took over

Echo chamber in the brain

Doing the two-step on one leg

Waltzing with wobble

Speaking jazz

Soundtrack: chaos

Dissonant monologue

Karaoke heroics

Pop Culture References

Tony Stark at a press conference

Homer Simpson after Moe’s

Bridget Jones on a breakup night

Jack Sparrow swagger

Stumbling like a sitcom dad

Ron Swanson, but on wine

Tyrion Lannister level

The Hangover: live edition

Thor after mead

Wario cart driving

Situational

Clinging to a lamp post

Talking to a fire hydrant

Arguing with a pizza

Hugging strangers

Crying at commercials

Dancing with shadows

Toasting to no one

Walking like a crab

Singing to an ATM

Laughing alone in the mirror

Objects & Elements

Liquid lightning inside

Whiskey-tornado brain

Fog-machine internal

Corked up emotions

Glass full of bad ideas

Carbonated decisions

Wine-slick soul

Firewater madness

Bubbly brainstorm

Iceberg-level tipsy

Surreal & Absurd

Cheesed and confused

Moonwalking through molasses

Astronaut without gravity

Talking in cursive

Wearing invisible roller skates

Brain on vacation

Internal earthquake

Rodeo of regrets

Wobble-dimensional

On a first-name basis with gravity

Clever Wordplay

Chardonnay-shay

Gin-giggled

Cognac-comatose

Tequila-vision

Vodka-vaporized

Rum-rattled

Brew-boozled

Ale-ments of confusion

Martini-mushed

Scotch-guarded memory

Just Plain Weird

Emotionally sticky

Conducting invisible orchestra

Body on shuffle

Stomach singing show tunes

Conversing in whale

Napping while standing

Flirting with chairs

Horizontal ambition

Sense of time: melted

More spirit than man

“Drunk Father,” by George Bellows
Public domain via Wikimedia Commons