Early in the history of phones, there were about 300 competing phone companies in America. You could call only the people who did business with the same company as you.

The first phone booths were in a building in Connecticut. An attendant stood near to take the money.

In a study of people using phone booths, researchers found that when no one was waiting to use the phone, callers averaged ninety seconds talking, then walked away. But if someone was waiting around to make a call, the callers averaged four minutes per call.

Smartphone Jokes

A man is frantically searching his pockets, patting himself down. His friend asks, “What’s wrong?” He replies, “I think I’ve lost my phone!” His friend points to his hand and says, “It’s right there, you’re talking on it.” The man looks at his hand, then says, “Oh, thank goodness! For a second there, I thought I was going to have to interact with the world around me.”

A couple is on a romantic dinner. The woman gets annoyed because her date keeps checking his phone. She finally says, “Is something more interesting on your phone than me?” He looks up, startled, and says, “Oh, sorry! Just checking the weather. It says there’s a 100% chance of you being upset with me.”

My self-driving car just got a software update. Now it keeps pulling over every time I get a new notification, saying, “Safety protocol engaged. User attention diverted.” I’m never going to get anywhere.

I tried to use my smartphone as a spirit level for a shelf I was putting up. It kept telling me, “Shelf slightly tilted. Consider recalibration. Or perhaps you should hire a professional.” It was not helpful.

A boss is lecturing an employee about always being on their phone. “Don’t you have anything better to do than stare at that screen all day?” he asks. The employee shrugs. “Well, my phone just reminded me it’s time for my break.”

I asked my smartphone to tell me a joke. It displayed a graph of my screen time for the past week. I didn’t laugh.

A student hands in a paper to their professor. The professor reads it and says, “This is excellent! Did you use AI for this?” The student says, “No, Professor, I used my smartphone.” The professor looks confused. The student clarifies, “I typed every word with my thumbs on the tiny keyboard, ignoring all social interaction for two days straight.”

A man loses his smartphone in a crowded park. He starts frantically searching, then yells, “To the person who finds my phone, I’ll give you a reward!” A voice from the bushes replies, “How about your password instead?”

Two smartphones are talking. One says, “I’m worried about my battery life.” The other replies, “Don’t be. You’ll be replaced by a newer model before you even notice.”

WA father asks his son, “What do you want for your birthday?” The son replies, “A new smartphone!” The father says, “But you just got one last year!” The son explains, “Yeah, but this one has 0.5% more processing power and a slightly better camera! It’s practically a whole new life!”

I told my phone to “call Mom,” and it dialed my ex.
Now I have to explain to both of them why I’m crying.

My smartphone’s screen time report said I spent 7 hours a day on it.
So I threw it in the lake and now I spend 7 hours a day looking for it.

My phone’s facial recognition didn’t work because I was ugly-crying.
Even AI has standards, apparently.

I told my phone I wanted more storage, and it replied, “Then stop downloading every photo of your cat.”

I lost my phone in the couch cushions and found a whole second phone I forgot I owned.

I accidentally sent my boss a text meant for my dog.
Now he thinks “who’s a good boy?” is how I communicate under stress.

Here are 30 smartphone-themed jokes for you:

Why was the smartphone bad at sports? It kept dropping the call.