Yoga is the practice of paying money to find out which parts of your body you’ve been ignoring since 2009.

My yoga instructor says I need to be more flexible. I told her I already rescheduled twice this month.

Yoga: because punching people is frowned upon.

Yoga teaches patience. Like waiting for the person in front of you to stop wobbling.

Yoga taught me that balance is just falling very slowly with confidence.

Every yoga class has that one person who looks like a Renaissance painting while I look like furniture being assembled incorrectly.

Why did the yogi get a new dog? He wanted a downward-facing friend.

The hardest part of yoga is not laughing at the person next to you who’s struggling just as much.

Yoga is the only workout where you’re both deeply calm and deeply confused at the same time.

The hardest pose is pretending you’re not checking to see if everyone else is struggling too.

I love how yoga encourages self-acceptance, right after showing me what I will never physically achieve.

I tried hot yoga and learned that heat removes all illusions of dignity.

I tried yoga to reduce stress, but now I’m stressed about whether I’m doing yoga wrong.

My balance improves dramatically when no one is watching.

The real flexibility yoga teaches is learning to laugh at yourself while falling over.