Additional Adult Topics

My girlfriend’s so good at sex, she can get a man to come in under 30 seconds. All she has to do is call his name from the other room.

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually look for a golf ball.

I asked my wife if she ever fantasized about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.

The left testicle sighed to the right one, “You know, some days I feel like we have so much potential, so much to offer the world.”

The right one nodded and said, “I know. But are we ever going to get a chance, or are we just going to hang around forever?”

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read. It’s a good thing I didn’t get him the Kama Sutra.

Why is it so hard to find a good, sensitive, caring, and handsome man? Because they all already have boyfriends.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? “Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job.”

Sex is like a game of poker. You need a good partner and a good hand. If you have a bad hand, you better have a good partner.

What’s the best thing about having a small penis? You don’t have to get a big ego to go with it.

My girlfriend and I have a great sex life. She has a great sex life, and I have a life.

I said to my wife, “I’m in the mood for love.” She said, “Oh, thank God. I thought you were going to ask me to do the dishes.”

What’s the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? About 45 pounds.

Why do men like to have sex with the lights off? Because they can’t stand to see a woman have a good time.

I asked my wife, “What’s the one thing you’d change about me?” She said, “Your wife.”

My sex life is like a broken pencil… pointless.

What’s the difference between ‘oooooh’ and ‘aaaaah’? About two inches.

I haven’t had sex in so long, I can’t remember who gets tied up.