“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”
-Oscar Wilde

How do you spot a fake designer bag? It’s bragging louder than the outfit.

What’s a tailor’s favorite hobby? Fixing everyone else’s mistakes.

How do you annoy a fashion designer? Wear their prototype backward.

ow do you know a fashion trend is dead? It’s on sale at every outlet mall.

Fashion week is just like regular life, except everyone’s late and pretending it’s on purpose.

I tried to dress “business casual” but ended up looking like a substitute teacher who got fired for being too chill.

I bought ripped jeans for $80. My grandma offered to sew them for free and now won’t speak to me.

My closet has 40 shirts, but I still wear the same 3. The others are just there for moral support.

I don’t follow trends. I just slowly absorb them through shame and social media.

I bought one designer jacket and now I have to explain to everyone why I can’t afford lunch.

My style is best described as “I tried” with subtle notes of “gave up halfway.”

Model on the runway: fierce and flawless. Me: tripping over a sock on the floor in my own house.

I wore all black to look chic. Turns out, I just looked like I was going to fix someone’s Wi-Fi.

I tried to do a fashion selfie. The camera got tired and just shut itself off.

Wardrobe malfunction? I prefer “unexpected design decision.”

I saw a guy wearing a cape and honestly, he had more confidence than my entire family tree.

The label said “dry clean only” so now it lives in a special drawer for clothes I never wear again.

My personal shopper is named “impulse” and they work mostly on Sundays.

Nothing says “fashion victim” like running into a glass door in your designer sunglasses.

At one time in Japan, fashionable women painted their teeth black.