According to one source, in Idaho it is illegal to give your lover a box of candy smaller than fifty pounds in weight. Another source stated that it is illegal to give any other citizen a box of candy weighing more than 50 pounds. In any case, the giving of huge quantities of candy is regulated in Idaho.
Category: Crime & The Law
Mr. 1069
There is a man whose official name has been legally changed to Mr. 1069.
An Unusual Crime in New York City
In New York City, it is illegal to greet anyone “by placing the end of his thumb against the tip of his nose, at the same time extending and wriggling the fingers of his hand.”
Massachusetts Clam Chowder and the Law
In Massachusetts you can’t legally use tomatoes in clam chowder.
Taking a Bath in Kentucky
If you live in Kentucky, you must take a bath at least once per year. It’s the law.
Rounding Pi in Kansas
In Kansas it is legal to round off pi from somewhere around 3.14159265 to 3.0.
Inmates with New Faces
In Illinois, prison inmates were offered free plastic surgery to change their faces. Of those who elected to become “new men” their rate of committing new crimes after release was less than average.
Carrying Ice Cream
In Kentucky it is illegal to carry ice cream in your back pocket.
Canned Sardines
There is an actual court case on record named: “The United States v. 350 Cartons of Canned Sardines.” It has something to do with interstate commerce.
Yellow Stripe
During the 1920’s there was a law in Russia that all private automobiles (not ones used by the government) had to have a yellow stripe painted all the way around the whole body.
Peter The Great’s Beard Tax
When Peter the Great, who couldn’t grow a respectable beard, was in power, any Russian who had a beard was required to pay a beard tax.
Painting a Sparrow
In Harper Woods, Michigan, it is against the law to paint a sparrow and claim it’s a parakeet.
False Address
Think you are being given a false address? Repeat a part of the address back to someone, but make a mistake. For instance, “Your zip code is 97540?” The legitimate person will usually say, “No, 97530.”
Words for Drunk
According to the “Guiness Book of World Records,” there are as many as 2,241 synonyms for the state of being “drunk.” How many can you list? Seriously, how many can you list? Go ahead and leave your synonyms for ‘drunk’ in the comment area below. When we have enough of them, I’ll publish the list.
Tipsy
Smashed
Wasted
Plastered
Sloshed
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Hammered
Buzzed
Sauced
Pickled
Inebriated
Humorous
Swimming in gin
Feeling no pain
Seeing double
Having a chat with the floor
Danced with Dionysus
Holding onto walls for dear life
On a liquid diet
In the bag
Turned into a karaoke monster
Brain marinated in whiskey
Regional Slang
Trollied (UK)
Langered (Ireland)
Maggoted (Australia)
Bladdered (UK)
Pished (Scotland)
Off your face (UK)
Rotten (New Zealand)
Arseholed (UK)
Munted (NZ/Aus)
Paralytic (UK)
Obscure or Old-Timey
Three sheets to the wind
Well-oiled
In one’s cups
Pie-eyed
Half-seas over
Stewed
Blotto
Tight
Juiced
Tanked
Medical or Formal
Intoxicated
Under the influence
Experiencing ethanol impairment
Exhibiting symptoms of alcohol toxicosis
Impaired judgment
BAC elevated
CNS depressant activated
Alcohol-positive
Neurologically uninhibited
Liver-challenged
Animal Inspired
Drunk as a skunk
Buzzed like a bee
Soared like a bat
Waddling like a duck
Sloshed like a fish
Stumbling like a newborn foal
Rabid raccoon energy
Eyes like a barn owl
Mooing like a drunk cow
Oinking through karaoke
Vehicle or Mechanical Metaphors
Off the rails
Spinning the wheels
Out of gas, full of wine
Clutch slipping
Running on booze fumes
Leaking oil
Headlights off
In a tailspin
Crash landed
Shifting without a clutch
Food and Drink
Marinated
Pickled
Fermented
Soaked
Battered
Breaded and deep-fried
Drenched in spirits
Whiskey-braised
Wine-glazed
Beer-battered soul
Descriptive Phrases
Not walking a straight line
Lacking vertical loyalty
Speaking in slurs
Laughing at nothing
Red-faced and rambly
Brain swimming
Senses foggy
Volume at 150%
Emotional and confused
Loosened tongue
Mythical & Magical
Hexed by hops
Elven-wine drunk
Wizard-whiskey whammied
Goblin-mode activated
Cursed by ale
Under the mead spell
Dragon-breathed
On a unicorn bender
Satyr-influenced
Bacchus-blessed
Literary & Poetic
Drenched in dusk-colored wine
Floating on amber tides
Mind adrift in barley clouds
A symphony of slurred syllables
Thoughts swimming through molasses
Smiling through fogged glass
Drunk on stars and bourbon
Lips dripping poetry and vodka
Slurring through Shakespeare
Marooned on merlot shores
Modern & Internet-Inspired
Glitched out
Lagging IRL
Buffering badly
Full emoji mode
TikTok stumble star
Drunkposting
Podcasting from the floor
Autocorrect in real life
Streaming sideways
IRL screenshot fail
Visual Metaphors
Blurred like an old TV
Candle in a wind tunnel
Cross-eyed at the moon
Eyes in disco mode
Face in Picasso formation
Seeing with beer goggles
World on spin cycle
Legs on spaghetti setting
Lights on, everyone partying
Jello-legged
Music & Sound
Volume maxed
Singing off-key with confidence
DJ Vodka took over
Echo chamber in the brain
Doing the two-step on one leg
Waltzing with wobble
Speaking jazz
Soundtrack: chaos
Dissonant monologue
Karaoke heroics
Pop Culture References
Tony Stark at a press conference
Homer Simpson after Moe’s
Bridget Jones on a breakup night
Jack Sparrow swagger
Stumbling like a sitcom dad
Ron Swanson, but on wine
Tyrion Lannister level
The Hangover: live edition
Thor after mead
Wario cart driving
Situational
Clinging to a lamp post
Talking to a fire hydrant
Arguing with a pizza
Hugging strangers
Crying at commercials
Dancing with shadows
Toasting to no one
Walking like a crab
Singing to an ATM
Laughing alone in the mirror
Objects & Elements
Liquid lightning inside
Whiskey-tornado brain
Fog-machine internal
Corked up emotions
Glass full of bad ideas
Carbonated decisions
Wine-slick soul
Firewater madness
Bubbly brainstorm
Iceberg-level tipsy
Surreal & Absurd
Cheesed and confused
Moonwalking through molasses
Astronaut without gravity
Talking in cursive
Wearing invisible roller skates
Brain on vacation
Internal earthquake
Rodeo of regrets
Wobble-dimensional
On a first-name basis with gravity
Clever Wordplay
Chardonnay-shay
Gin-giggled
Cognac-comatose
Tequila-vision
Vodka-vaporized
Rum-rattled
Brew-boozled
Ale-ments of confusion
Martini-mushed
Scotch-guarded memory
Just Plain Weird
Emotionally sticky
Conducting invisible orchestra
Body on shuffle
Stomach singing show tunes
Conversing in whale
Napping while standing
Flirting with chairs
Horizontal ambition
Sense of time: melted
More spirit than man
“Drunk Father,” by George Bellows
Public domain via Wikimedia Commons
Imposter
Ferdinand Waldo Demara, Jr., a high-school dropout, posed as a monk, a professor of psychology, a cancer researcher, a penal officer, a teacher, and a surgeon, all without the proper education or certification. As a surgeon he successfully performed amputations and even thoracic surgery.
Ferdinand was portrayed by Tony Curtis in the 1961 movie, “The Great Imposter.”
Canadian Tickets
In parts of Canada, a police officer may give you a ticket when you haven’t done anything wrong. These are called “positive tickets” and are a way of thanking citizens for doing good deeds.
Stolen Space Orchid
Russian scientists grew an orchid in space then returned it to earth. Before they could study it fully, someone stole it from the laboratory.
Huge Computer Programming Mistake
Always double-check your work.
The programmer in charge of a computer with the job of issuing traffic citations goofed in September, 1989. The computer sent notices to 41,000 residents of Paris, France informing them that they were charged with murder, prostitution and illegal sale of drugs.
